of everything

-warning: thoughts are going to be lengthy and super disorganized-

*shakes head* I never thought that I could make it through the week.
But I did. Guess that is some cause for celebration?
*hooray* -> that was about the most unenthusiastic cheer you have ever heard.

Work is challenging (absolute understatement!).
More challenging than what I thought my pea brain could take.
Maybe just that my pea brain cannot process anything more complicated than Primary 3 Math.

State of brain after work: DEFUNCT.
I didn't recognize the seriousness of the situation until I realize that I was kind of addicted to the Channel 8 9pm drama serial - I had actually quit watching serials about eons ago.
Coz that was about the only thing that my brain could digest.
Trust me - MSN or novels seemed like rocket science.

I wonder why I work so hard.
I thought I just wanted to be happy.

I hate to wake up to the dumb alarm when the sun is still not out.
I hate to put on makeup.
I hate to wear heels.
I hate the crowd in the trains.
I hate to gobble down my breakfast. (I am a strong believer of GOOD BREAKFASTS!)
I hate to miss lunch.
I hate not being able to chat coz I cannot afford the time.
I hate ignoring smses.
I hate having no eye candies.
I hate being overburdened with work when people are starting to pack up and go home.
I hate being hungry during the evening in the office.
I hate having dry eyes from staring at the tiny screen for too long.
I hate losing my appetite.
I hate going home when the sky is dark.
I hate being only able to stone on the way home.
I hate removing makeup.
I hate sleeping with wet hair.
I hate having nightmares about work.
I hate the repeat of this routine everyday.

THIS IS GETTING DUMB...
ENOUGH OF GRUMBLING!!!

Daddy was looking at the news of Myanmar's and China's disasters and commenting on how pitiful the people are.
I thought he should continue with... oh how fortunate are we!

The collapse of the World Trade Centre, the Bali bombings, Hurricane Katrina, and even the continuing war in the Middle East...
We were merely onlookers.
Yes we felt the pain.
Yet what do we understand of their anguish?
Just passive television viewers in front of the black box hungry for some heart-wrenching story.
Hoping that our money will in some way make up for our guilt in being so comfortable when others are suffering.

I just hate it when this sort of things happen.
Makes me feel as though I should be doing something more noble than sitting in the office.

I know I know I know!!!
I know my complaints are frivolous and superficial compared to what others are going through right now. But this is my space so let me rant k?

I have seriously contemplated leaving my current life (not triggered by the recent spate of disasters).
I have no idea why I am doing what I am doing when so many people in this world needs help.
Even without the cyclone and the earthquake, poverty is an ongoing issue.
Yet I waste food and spend money on stupid things.
Which is not fair when we are humans and we should be equal.
If I am given a chance for education, he/she should be too!

Ok my thoughts are running quite wild tonight i am a bit incoherent.
Shall retire for the night and brace myself for the long weekend of hardwork!